I am not capable of sitting completely still without having something to do. If that’s the case, my energy level would have to be below minus. That actually happens at certain times of the week. It never fails. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about right now. Right now I’m going to share a little bit about how I’m put together.
I was created with a large dose of creativity, well seasoned with a strong dose of impatience. Adding to that I have my own, unreasonably high demands. This mix of ingredients have made me into a perfectionist with what I like to call “art neurosis”. So there you have it. That’s the recipe of me. But how does that work in real life?
Well, I have quite a few ideas that I want to explore, but time is a tricky b.Who has the time really? To create the time I want and need, I would have to get rid of my kid, my boyfriend, job and apartment. And maybe then I can get enough time.
My solution to the time-problem is always the same. I get so motivated that I start 7389 art projects at once. Every time this happens I say to my self “If I just could get some sketches of the ideas done first, or make a rough drawing, so the ideas don’t disappear out of my head. Also, with the ideas started on, I would get such a peace of mind! Clever!”
It gives the same result every time. A lot of unfinished projects. At the office, I have tons of those clever ideas. Some of them being 2-3 years old. Some of the ideas, I cant even remember the origin. But they are still there, waiting in anticipation of better weather, or in other words better time, so that I could actually finish them.
I have a great deal more ideas than this laying around. Much has gone into the bin over the years. A lot are “well hidden away” in my sketchbooks. And a few are destroyed because they eventually faced the faith of spilled coffee.
The problem, thanks to the spice popularly called impatience, is that I rarely complete all of these projects that I so eagerly started on. There are always 246 other ideas that get in the way. Or the fact that what I’m currently working on simply takes to much of my time. After all, my art is not good enough until it’s perfect. And that’s when self inflicted high demands comes pounding on.
Of course I have a wish to complete them all right away. Nearly wanting to be a machine producing art non stop. Unlikely you say? Quite right, but that does not help me in any way. This is the “art neurosis” I mentioned. I get totally bonkers. It’s like I almost get spasms in my eye every time I get a glimpse of all the unfinished work. I unconsciously walk around in circles while I try to figure out how much time I need to complete them. In my mind I shift around all current plans to squeeze them in.“Let’s see, if I clean the bathroom while I check Caspers homework, shave my legs and prepare dinner all at the same time? Clever yet again!”.
Okay, so I’m exaggerating a bit, but I think you get the idea. I’m a sucker for multitasking. I usually get a good 20-30 minutes to do my art without any interruptions. I’ll take what I can get.
Oh yes! That’s a typical grandmas tablecloth. I wanted to combine the two things I love the most on an untraditional canvas like these tablecloths, and draw Mandalas with skulls. I imagined they would look very neat in a glass frame.
I started the large, female face 2 years ago as a practice with colorpencils. I suddenly stopped when I realized her head was too large. Large as in Mr. Potatohead large.
That portrait in black and white have been laying in the window behind the sofa for 4 weeks now. I started it before a late shift at work one day, and didn’t get to finish. So it’s halfway done too.
The sketch to the left is 5 years old. The sketch to the right is 2 years old. I have faith!
A couple of years ago I got obsessed with Mandalas , so I started working on a miniseries I named ”Linndala”. This skull was ment to be a larger version of another piece called ”Mini Linndala”. But then I started yet another golden Mandala. I actually found that one the other day. I had totally forgotten about it.
The drawing on the right is actually done. When I finished it this Christmas I thought I had cured my impatience. I was so full of faith that I started on the one to the left. I drew tiny details for countless hours until I only had the red skulls left to draw. But the day I started to finish it was one of those days were my energy level was at the rock bottom. Just after a couple of minutes I had drawn skulls that looked more like Donald Duck than actual skulls. The drawing was ruined and I was pissed off. And that was just because I felt that I had to finish something. Impatience. That was when I learned not to draw at the same time as I struggle with keeping my eyes open.
This must be the most time consuming A-4 page I have ever drawn. It has taken me nearly 2 months so far. I should explain why. In my last blog entry I wrote about how I bring small projects with me to work. This is the current one, and I have worked on it for two days a week. In addition to that I get to draw every Sunday morning, laying in bed next to my hubby, watching tv-series. That time during Sundays has become my favorite time of the week.
You might think that it would be easier to make a list of all the new ideas? That then I might not have had the problem with unfinished work laying around? The answer to that is simply no. How could I then perfect the art of multitasking? And sometimes I do get benefits from letting some of those clever ideas continue to be unfinished for a few years. They might just be aging like a good wine. And when it comes to those grandma tablecloths, I had totally forgotten about them. That is actually one of those ideas that need to be executed.
When I get the time.